The Upside Down

Well, 2025 started off with a bang.

A few days into the new year, I went for my regular long run. At the 25th kilometer I stepped off a curb and my ankle went bang. Then my right knee hit the gravel, followed by two fingers. Those two fingers prevented my face from smashing into the ground. But the gravel took a nice chunk out of my skin and my confidence.

A few days after that, the Palisades fire started, followed shortly by many other fires. Almost immediately people had to flee. Some didn’t make it. Power went off in some areas so many traffic lights did not work. LA drivers showed me what I knew deep down: they are kind and not always reckless.

Watching the thick cloud(s) of smoke from our street was discombobulating. Matt and I packed our emergency bags, ready to go. Because of my ruddy ankle and my bleeding limbs, I had to tell Matt the most pragmatic thing - if it comes down to it, just grab Ducky and run. I’ll figure it out. ‘Better 1 dead than all 3’ was what I thought, but of course I didn’t vocalize it then.

(For my Singaporean readers, to give a scale of just one fire - the Palisades - imagine Bedok, Tampines, Pasir Ris, Changi, and Paya Lebar up in flames)

Ducky, clueless and unbothered

Ash rained down for days as the fires burned. While the city continued burning and my ankle in bad shape, I had to leave for a work trip. It was unsettling to leave but it was important. It was in DC just before Trump’s inauguration. Somehow I was able to hobble through it and the meeting outcome was fruitful. After the meeting we received good news. A trip not wasted.

I made it back to LA. Not out of the woods regarding the fires, but definitely much better.

Finally, I could give my ankle the attention it needed. Navigating US healthcare is the real marathon here. What do you mean I cannot get an appointment, see a specialist, get an x-ray/MRI, and get an operation within 48 hours? Well, it has been 3 weeks and I’ve only got to see a doctor and get an x-ray. Story TBC.

On the day of Trump’s inauguration Matt and I went to Joshua Tree national park. Despite the tree's resilience and ability to survive in the desert, its future remains precarious. Hmm. We listened to the inauguration speeches while on the drive there. Hmm. By then the scabs on my fingers looked like the shabby bark of the Joshua Tree.

Then came the Executive Orders. For the first time in my life I had to effectively lay off employees. The solution the organization wanted was ‘unpaid leave’, but this could inadvertently serve the organization more than the employee. So I listened to what my team wanted and we discussed the best option for them. Where will things go from here? Remember that Tiktok ban that lasted one day?

The grace that people have shown, despite it all, will always be a source of inspiration. My team was incredibly understanding. Even others who were not affected (and are American citizens) proactively offered to go on unpaid leave and explicitly told me to prioritize internationals on visas. Protecting the most vulnerable, even at one’s own expense, has been natural to me from a young age. Growing up shows you not many people behave like this. Somehow in my 30s, across the world, I’ve found my pack.

(Two of my teammates are looking for opportunities - so if you have any leads, please send them my way).

Mind you, we’re not done with January, so everything above happened in a span of 2-3 weeks. It has been a perilous limbo for many but living in the US makes one accustomed to uncertainty. Uncertainty not necessarily in a pejorative sense. Just got to roll with the punches, ride out the waves until the next one comes.

Outside of LA, the world spins on. Seeing Palestinians in Gaza return to their hometown this month, after the ceasefire was announced, has touched me greatly. They survived. I don’t know if I would have. Seeing the hostages released by Hamas was also a relief. Even though I personally know no one in Gaza, I really admire their tenacity. For some, bred not entirely by choice but by circumstance.